Sunday, December 29, 2013

I think I'm smitten

Today I was feeling especially bummed for Blake's deployment, when I found a bunch of things I had written down that he said or did to make me laugh. Totally what I needed! I realize most people do this with what their kids say but, what can I say? Blake says the darndest things!

Blake went into the bathroom and turned on the fan. He opened the door and said to me, "I'm gonna poop in the candlelight." A few minutes later I get a text, 'This poop session is so...romantic? With this mood lighting everything is so dreamy.'

Blake goes into the bathroom to change out of work clothes. Comes out in just underwear and latex gloves. He stands in front of me and stares into my eyes and slowly puts a finger deep into his nose. Says, "I can pick my nose and I don't have to wash my hands!"

As we're buying a Harry Potter game (for him). "If anyone sees me playing this on Xbox we're telling them it's you."

Me with headphones on my laptop. Ignoring pesty Blake. He toots and I give him a glare. Blake: "Oh NOW you can hear me!"

Middle of the night woke up to Blake talking in his sleep, "Is it 2015 yet? Marty Mcfly give them the water board!"

Blake: "Tinker is such a stupid name." *Quiet for a minute and both look at each other* Simultaneously, "At least it's better than Semore Johnson!"

Blake: "Pimple." Joce: "What??!" Blake: "Good book!" (Blake is a lowtalker)

Looks at me. B: "I apologize." J: "For?? What??" B: "I ate my veggies!"

Blake was so nervous about April fools that he reminded me a million times not to prank him…I would have forgotten had he not reminded me about it.

B: "You got me April Fools-I had to shave in the bathtub this morning."

Blake was casually watching along with me while Sex and the City was on. He was caught when he gasped in dismay when Charlotte and Harry fight and Harry leaves saying, 'And to think I bought a ring!'

I got out of the shower to find Blake pounding on the front door. I open it to his sour face. "You were washing the smell of the delivery guy off of you weren't you?"

Turns on hotel light. I look at him and ask what's up. "I've got water in my mouth." What??? "The alarm went off!"

Cooling down under the fan on the hulk ride in blazing hot Florida. "Iz you in hevvun?"

One morning he woke me up with, "THANK YOU for putting your phone in the spot of a Blaken!" Apparently he woke up cuddled next to my phone and it affected his grammar. 

B: "Don't breathe anymore." J: "What??!" B: "It's so freaking warm!"

Looking at the bottle of jojoba oil. "Joe-joe-bah oil… jaw-jaw-bah oil…?"

I got out of the shower and he stares at my head. "You look like Hitler." 

On his way to the hotel bathroom. "Don't mind the grunts."

*Phone rings* Me: "Hello?" Blake: "I just farted and I'm not sure if I crapped my pants or not. Like really robust farts… but then at the end they got a little too robust."

I put new white sheets on the bed. "Looks very pretty. Can't wait to make them yellow."

"It's good if I think I'm smarter than the rest of the people in my shop…which i kinda do soooo…"

*While sitting on the pot, alone in the bathroom* "Tell me a story" to iphone.

"Back! She-devil!"

As I was kissing him goodbye one morning. "Don't seduce the bug man."

As I was spritzing him with cologne, he turns and points his butt at me, "Spray my frou-frou!" 

"I wasn't expecting you not to have pants on! What a pleasant surprise!"

B: "I'm gonna go pluck some spare belly hairs that I have." J: "Pluck??" B: "Yeah, there's some extra ones on top of my belly button I don't want."

In his sleep "What?! Of course!"

In his sleep Blake muttered either 'I love you' or 'I'm gonna kill you.' As I was debating which, he passed gas. I guess he meant kill. 

Me celebrating a victory. B: I'll kiss you but that doesn't mean I like you." 

"On the days you're happiest and smile the most are the days that you have pepper in your teeth." 

I heard a loud bubbly fart in the bathtub. I go to the bathroom and look around the door to see Blake with a huge, guilty grin on his face.

Complaining about his sore lymph node from smallpox shot. "I imagine this is what period boob feels like."

Stands at the door, looking at me expectantly. J: "You look handsome, love." He smiles and moves. J: "Were you waiting for a compliment?" He smiles sheepishly, "Yes."



Thursday, June 27, 2013

Our Apartment Tour!

Since we are moving out of this here apartment pretty soon I thought I would film a little tour. Promising Blake a giant burrito was all it took to convince him to film it with me. The towels, laundry bag, and bandages in the bathroom are all because he is undergoing the smallpox vaccine. Ewwy. Here's a little taste of our relationship! And our little love shack! 


video

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Universal Studios

One day in mid March the Blake and I were cooped up in our apartment, freezing our little tushies off. So I looked at Blake and told him we should go to Florida for a vacation. He agreed so quickly that I was stunned (I wasn't seriously expecting him to agree). We wanted to go as early as possible so we could escape the cold. We went to the travel agent on base who was the most high-strung person I have ever encountered in my life! I had an energy powder a few hours earlier and had exercise endorphins coursing through me when we entered the building, and when we left the crazy lady I needed a nap! 

We booked our tickets so we would arrive in Florida a couple hours before check-in. We waited at the airport for hours with, "Just a half hour more" playing on the intercom. Finally the flight attendant person told us our flight was cancelled because of engine trouble. Blake hopped in line for rebooking and the line moved at a snails pace so I decided to call the airline directly and rebook our flight. Smart move, Jocelyn. Smart move. We were able to get the last two seats on a flight and arrive in Florida around midnight. We were pooped! 

We stayed at one of the on-site resort, the Leows Grand Pacific. It was about a 1/2-1 mile from the resort and had a private walkway or a water taxi. We did a lot of walking because it was so nicely landscaped and pretty. 

We enjoyed the pool and got some sun. That gave us a nice precancerous red glow. And some interesting tan lines. But it felt glorious!







Harry Potter world was awesome! We were totally enthralled at how similar they made it look to the movies. We were able to go to the park an hour before it opened because of where we were staying, so we arrived early one day and ate at the Three Broomsticks. I had pumpkin juice with my breakfast and Blake had a Butterbeer. We felt very fancy (and oversugared). We also went in to Olivander's for a demonstration, and, much to my shock and horror, Olivander picked me to be the wand guinea pig! I shoved Blake forward and said that HE was the one looking for a wand, so Olivander pulled us both up for the demonstration. We waved our wands and lights flickered and drawers rattled. And then our wands "chose" us! It was pretty fun.
I should entitle this picture as, "Blake smells hippogriff poo at Hogsmead."



We bought a chocolate frog and some Bertie Botts every flavor beans. We gnawed on that frog for several weeks before it was just a head rolling around in its container, covered in bite marks. 



The Harry Potter ride was amazing! It was a mix of 3D and coaster. Blake couldn't keep his eyes open for it because he gets motion sick on the 3d rides. Sad face. He still went on the ride 3 times with me because my favorite type of rides are the 3d rides. That must be our one bad match.

Blake wasn't sour, just squinty. How could you be sour at a theme park??


He got to pet a baby dinosaur as well! We ate at the Jurassic Park shop several times because we bought the meal plan, and all the places we ate at were delish!


 We looooved the water rides. Universal knows how to produce a splash! The token log ride meanders through the tunnels, just like any ordinary log ride, and then it rockets you out of the side of the mountain and you get your top layer of skin taken off by the ensuing splash. We rode the wet rides every day, and planned the last day to be the wettest and wore swim bottoms. I even wore Blake's teeny weeny European speedo to be prepared...  and we barely got wet haha.

The rides were awesome and the shows were so fun. My favorite coaster ended up being the one Blake had to practically force me to ride that plays music in your ears as you ride. It was awesome hearing Limp Bizkit covering up my screams of terror. It also videoed your faces during the ride so we got to see our reactions afterwards.


Enjoying our butterbeer foam. Soooo tasty!



Right by Universal was the City Walk. It had a bunch of shops, a theater, and lots of places to eat. We watched Identity Thief one evening in a dark and ominous theater. We enjoyed burritos at Mo's (where I tried my first chicken burrito) and ended every night with hand-scooped froyo from TCBY which we ate outside by the water. Sooo glorious! The rest of our meals we were able to eat in the park and they were so good! Their pizza rivaled Old Chicago I would dare say. 

Every night we would be exhausted by the days activities and we slept like babies. 

The last night we stayed at the parks until closing and stood by the water and watched their water show where they displayed images on a giant water screen and set off fireworks. I was standing there with Blake cuddling me from behind, a delicious slice of pizza in my belly and I couldn't believe how happy I was. It was seriously amazing. 





Run Lucky 5k

On March 10th we "ran" our first 5k together. It was mostly a wog (walk/jog) actually because we did zero training before the race. Nada, not even walked the length of a 5k. Our butts still had the imprint of couch cushions I'm sure. 

The race started at 2pm, so we woke up and were able to hang around the house for a while. It was soo cold that day! So we dug through the closet to find anything to bundle us up with. Blake came out with his military-issue long johns that are tan colored and have a sort of waffle pattern all over them. The crotch also goes down to just above his knees. Yeah. My eyes bugged and I demanded that he take them off. I would rather him freeze his giblets than taint his pretty-boy image. I offered up a pair of my yoga pants instead. So, underneath his athletic shorts are yoga pants that say something like, "Love Pink" on the waistband. :) It takes a real man to wear Victorias Secret Pink yoga pants! Even with all the layers we were still shivery. 

When we got to the place we THOUGHT we were supposed to park, it turned out to be the wrong place. We looked around and saw a jogger in green across the way and hustled after him. Turned out that jogger was even more lost than us and we wandered through construction and some businesses before we finally found the race start. Gotta say, we (me) were huffing and puffing just trying to find the race start! We hopped in towards the back and the race finally started. I gotta say it was pretty awesome running with so many people. And then walking with so many people. We were pretty slow even with the cold pushing us along. 

Towards the end Blake decided he would like to carry me the last 1k on his back. I giggle uncontrollably when someone runs with me on their back. I don't know if it's the bouncing or what, but I can't stop with the giggly-hiccupy laughter. That piggy-back coincided with an upward incline (there's no hills in Oklahoma!), so he didn't get very far, stopped, and literally dropped me. Like a sack of potatoes. But we rounded the last corner of the race and Blake urged me back onto his back, promising not to drop me again. I clung on for dear life and we crossed the finish line to the afterparty. 

 We didn't stay too long because it was so. fetching. cold! So we went to our favorite restaurant, Qdoba, and got giant burritos.

I snapped these two pics of Blake looking beautiful eating his burrito. And then he took over the camera.
 
I am such an attractive eater!



 

 
It tastes better if you eat like a pig.

 The next day we were so sore! And we had mostly walked! We decided that if we ever do a 5k again we will be trained before we sign up. And none in winter! And so I end with this smushed, attractive picture of us.



Friday, March 15, 2013

What We've Been Up To Lately...

A very exciting bunch of pictures from my phone...
I wrote a little note to Blake one night with instructions for his lunch and I found this when I got up in the morning. I giggled and took a picture. It was very sweet. It says, "I love you cuten."

Blake brought home some of the gear he's using to teach a class. He's been instructing about proper chemical protection during deployments or something. I think he's a little sick of it now, but he had fun playing with his props. 

He practiced putting on his mask and taking a drink. I just laughed and rolled my eyes at him while he played. 


This is us after we braved the storm on Christmas day to see Les Miserables. Blake loved it. So did I. So many people have whined about Russel Crow's singing. He was one of my favorite voices! Such a sexy bad guy! 

We went through Blake's side of the closet and found a pair of jeans that actually gave him a muffin top! It's like seeing a pig fly. Or a purple unicorn. It just doesn't happen. But it did! 

*Sidenote- Blake just leaned over to give me a kiss and saw his picture on the screen and he yelped, "What is that???!" Apparently two blogs in a day is a shock to his system. He said I should save this and spread the posts out so our families don't get "too much Jocelyn at once." He earned a Gubler glare for that one.*

I fixed my tulle skirt, only to find it was uneven...

So I had Blake put it on so I could even it out! It took a lot of convincing for him to let me take a picture and his stipulation is his face couldn't be in the picture. That makes it sooo mysterious as to who it is! Those feet! I die!

                                                      
For our anniversary I told Blake I didn't want flowers, I wanted a cinnabon. So he brought me home that deliciousness. It was way better than flowers!

And... my hair. I was thinking to myself I'd never sustain the guts long enough to make an appointment to actually cut my hair all off... so I grabbed my scrapbook scissors and chopped it. It was awful. After the squirrel-sized bundle of hair was laying dead in my trash can I started regretting my decision. It looked so beautiful! It was actually pretty fried from going blond last year so it did need to go. Blake came home from work and I had my hair in a ponytail and he immediately knew what I had done. I have no idea how because he didn't see the back of my head or the trashcan. He laughed a lot and asked if he could ever trust me alone with scissors in the house again. So we made an appointment.

And I came out with a faux hawk pixie. I loved it! And Blake was practically drooling on the steering wheel. Many pictures have ensued from this situation. 




And finally, I brewed two gallons of kombucha. At $4 a bottle it was getting a little expensive. So I grew myself a scoby and finally got brave enough to make some to drink. I made a second batch yesterday and got this batch started on the second fermentation. There are a million bottles covering the bar and I have been literally hopping around with joy. Blake has been eyeing them dubiously, probably remembering when I tried to brew water kefir with milk kefir grains. 


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