Blake went into the bathroom and turned on the fan. He opened the door and said to me, "I'm gonna poop in the candlelight." A few minutes later I get a text, 'This poop session is so...romantic? With this mood lighting everything is so dreamy.'
Blake goes into the bathroom to change out of work clothes. Comes out in just underwear and latex gloves. He stands in front of me and stares into my eyes and slowly puts a finger deep into his nose. Says, "I can pick my nose and I don't have to wash my hands!"
As we're buying a Harry Potter game (for him). "If anyone sees me playing this on Xbox we're telling them it's you."
Me with headphones on my laptop. Ignoring pesty Blake. He toots and I give him a glare. Blake: "Oh NOW you can hear me!"
Middle of the night woke up to Blake talking in his sleep, "Is it 2015 yet? Marty Mcfly give them the water board!"
Blake: "Tinker is such a stupid name." *Quiet for a minute and both look at each other* Simultaneously, "At least it's better than Semore Johnson!"
Blake: "Pimple." Joce: "What??!" Blake: "Good book!" (Blake is a lowtalker)
Looks at me. B: "I apologize." J: "For?? What??" B: "I ate my veggies!"
Blake was so nervous about April fools that he reminded me a million times not to prank him…I would have forgotten had he not reminded me about it.
B: "You got me April Fools-I had to shave in the bathtub this morning."
Blake was casually watching along with me while Sex and the City was on. He was caught when he gasped in dismay when Charlotte and Harry fight and Harry leaves saying, 'And to think I bought a ring!'
I got out of the shower to find Blake pounding on the front door. I open it to his sour face. "You were washing the smell of the delivery guy off of you weren't you?"
Turns on hotel light. I look at him and ask what's up. "I've got water in my mouth." What??? "The alarm went off!"
Cooling down under the fan on the hulk ride in blazing hot Florida. "Iz you in hevvun?"
One morning he woke me up with, "THANK YOU for putting your phone in the spot of a Blaken!" Apparently he woke up cuddled next to my phone and it affected his grammar.
B: "Don't breathe anymore." J: "What??!" B: "It's so freaking warm!"
Looking at the bottle of jojoba oil. "Joe-joe-bah oil… jaw-jaw-bah oil…?"
I got out of the shower and he stares at my head. "You look like Hitler."
On his way to the hotel bathroom. "Don't mind the grunts."
*Phone rings* Me: "Hello?" Blake: "I just farted and I'm not sure if I crapped my pants or not. Like really robust farts… but then at the end they got a little too robust."
I put new white sheets on the bed. "Looks very pretty. Can't wait to make them yellow."
"It's good if I think I'm smarter than the rest of the people in my shop…which i kinda do soooo…"
*While sitting on the pot, alone in the bathroom* "Tell me a story" to iphone.
As I was kissing him goodbye one morning. "Don't seduce the bug man."
As I was spritzing him with cologne, he turns and points his butt at me, "Spray my frou-frou!"
"I wasn't expecting you not to have pants on! What a pleasant surprise!"
B: "I'm gonna go pluck some spare belly hairs that I have." J: "Pluck??" B: "Yeah, there's some extra ones on top of my belly button I don't want."
In his sleep "What?! Of course!"
In his sleep Blake muttered either 'I love you' or 'I'm gonna kill you.' As I was debating which, he passed gas. I guess he meant kill.
Me celebrating a victory. B: I'll kiss you but that doesn't mean I like you."
"On the days you're happiest and smile the most are the days that you have pepper in your teeth."
I heard a loud bubbly fart in the bathtub. I go to the bathroom and look around the door to see Blake with a huge, guilty grin on his face.
Complaining about his sore lymph node from smallpox shot. "I imagine this is what period boob feels like."
Stands at the door, looking at me expectantly. J: "You look handsome, love." He smiles and moves. J: "Were you waiting for a compliment?" He smiles sheepishly, "Yes."