As told by Blaken and a fail

Today I decided to share part two of the crap Blake says. He keeps me entertained, that Blaken.

I was wearing a tank top, an oil treatment in my hair, and no makeup. I looked in the mirror and said, "I look like a lesbian today." As Blake was glancing over he replied: "No you don-hmmmm…."

*Singing in the shower* "Washin' my hairs! Washin' my hairs! So I can have a clean bum! So I can have a clean bum! What did YOU think I was singing about??"

*About him shaving his nips* "The pains I go through to look good for you." Me: "What?? All you have to do is *whoosh whoosh*." Blake: "No! I'm always afraid I'll cut off the tips!"

As I passed he called out to me: "Cuten. Of the McFruiten variety." 

Me: "Does my face look bigger now that I'm growing out my bangs?" Blake: "You've always had a big face. *Recovery and backpeddal* "…More surface area for me to kiss and love on!"

"Okay, I'll just sit and wait for you to cut me a slice of banana bread." Me: "Or YOU could get it yourself…" *Blake puts his hand on my leg and looks at me seriously* "Now let's not get silly here."

*Looking at his military style underwear in a picture. I call them his "little boy pajamas"* "I see what you mean about the little boy pajamas. I mean, I knew they weren't flirty or awesome…but now I see."

*Talking about hotel room height/location preference* "Since you have a preference I now have a preference." Awwwww.

J: "My lips are dry and burnt." B: "Yes they are. Can I lick them for you?"

"I'm gonna pee on you!"

"Your face is so cute. Especially when it's mad at me."

*We are laying in bed and Blake mentions he has a stuffed nostril* J: "Aw, I could kiss it." B: "Then do it." J: "I'm too comfy." B: "So mean! Offering kisses and not giving them!" *A few minutes later, Blake has pestered me about something, so I sit up and pull on his leg hair* B: "Haha, you had to sit up to reach me--KISS MY NOSE!"

"You should shave your head and just wear wigs." 

"I have a licking fetish. It's totally platonic though."

*Texting him while he's on the pot* J: "Do you want spaghetti?" B: "Sure. Making room for it right now."

*I pull him to me and cuddle him, kissing his forehead* *He gazes up at me through his eyelashes* Suddenly he bursts out, in a creepy baby doll voice, "MAMA!"

And I thought for a minute perhaps I could become a pescatarian. Well, it didn't work out so well.